All Clear!!

I guess it doesn’t take an idiot to work out that I have been a little quiet at the moment and I suppose there are a few out there who would have been glad of the break, a chance to regain some sense of sanity, but there has been a lot on my mind of late, much of which I have talked about in the last few postings. Stuff like the worsening mobility problems and the breathing etc ect.. I would be lying though if I was to say that this is all that is causing me some concern / distress. Just when I thought there was nothing else left out there for me to experience and I don’t mean things like Bacon Sarnies and nice juicy steaks and also the latest delicious addition to my varied diet, King Prawns in Batter from the local Chinese, which are to die for and really not fattening at all!! Back to the point, see just the thought of food sets me off on a totally different angle. About 2 weeks now I noticed a lump in that very delicate area between my legs, no not my wallet, it was in my, well , do you want me to spell it out for you?? Jeeeez, why do I find it difficult to write “it is in my Scrotum Sack, where my Testicles or Balls as they are commonly known reside”?? it is quite mobile and doesn’t appear to be connected to either testicle which as I have subsequently read is good news if there is such a thing, but as you can imagine all sorts of things spring to mind. I was thinking back to the very early days when I started out on “Chemo Highway” and remember being told then that the risk of contracting other forms of Cancer after being diagnosed with Leukaemia was a lot higher. I will admit that at first it was a case of burying my head in the sand and refusing to accept there was anything there at all, so much so that I didn’t look again for a few days. Sadly though the odd little twinge of pain and slight soreness was there to confirm that something was not right down there and I needed to get it at least looked at. I did my usual trick and kept it to myself, not even telling Judith for all the old stupid reasons which I seem to cling on to such as not wanting to be a burden or not wanting people to feel sorry for me etc etc it has appeared to have grown a little over this time although the pain felt is still the same if not maybe a little less not that this has eased the worry. Anyhow, I decided that as I was to go and see Merlin last Friday I would hang on till then and have a word with him. I obviously had to tell Judith before then which was quite hard actually. She has been a real rock for me to cling to all through this and just seems to always have the right things to say at the right times. No matter what I put her through she always bounces back. I could probably write a whole encyclopaedia on what she has done for me, especially these last few years and I love her to bits, well, what’s left of me does!! So when I went to see Merlin Friday he sent me for an ultrasound scan as a preliminary check to see what was happening. When I finally managed to get myself in a position that the radiologist could examine me due to my breathing being exceptionally bad that day he had a good old poke around. He assured me that I had a perfectly fine, normal pair of Testicles and that the lump was nothing to be concerned about at all. It was most probably some kind of cist or swelling around where they has tied up the tubes many years ago during the vasectomy. I must admit I did have a feeling of relief, as although I had pretty much convinced myself it was nothing by the time I had got there it did help to get a more, lets say, professional diagnosis. So just basically keep an eye on it and if it continues to grow or become more painful to arrange to go back.

Between Judith and myself I think we put Merlin straight in the sort of major problems I am now having to cope with. Up till now the skin gvhd on the lower half of my body has started at the level of my belly button and gone right down to my toes. Now though, on examination he found that it has moved over the last 2-3 months up in line with my nipples, a change of around 7-8 inches I guess, quite considerable. The obvious main problem with this is that this tightness will have a direct effect on my lungs being able to expand as the room available will be less. The seriousness is also that left uncontrolled the result will end up me not being able to breathe in enough oxygen to sustain life, which as you see, may cause a few complications. As the ongoing squabbling over who is going to fund the Extracorporeal treatment continues on, some 9 months after it was suggested that it would be of benefit for me, we are pretty much struggling to find other forms of treatment. Merlin has decided to put me on a course of Methotrexate once a week, which should have the desired effect of at least slowing down the gvhd army’s onslaught I have had a dose or two of this in the past but then it was as part of the overall Chemo regime and much higher doses too. He has put me on 10mg once a week which should keep me out of the sickness zone so to speak. There are as usual the same old side effects such as sickness and stomach problems, but the main one with this drug is Mouth Sores of which Peter explains all on his postings lately even forcing him to for go the odd Bacon Sarnie which is deadly serious indeed. I am hoping to not be able to compare notes on levels or soreness if that’s okay by you Peter??

I feel like Michelin man at the moment due to the dreaded water retention which seems to be pretty severe at the moment.

Right off for a surf around as I think I have bored you all quite enough for one day.

See Ya!!