I’m not mad just bloody plain stupid!!!

I woke up this morning and thought to myself I feel quite well for a change. None of the usual cough, cough, and even my skin seemed to maybe ever so slightly better and not so tight. Well I did the usual downing of the daily concoction of pills and potions, its sad really as I can do it in my sleep now as I seem to have been taking the same things for years. Not long after I had taken them all I went to get up and then realised that my skin was still quite tight so had to plaster a load of cream on and wait for it to sink in before I could venture off the sofa. Its amazing what a bit of cream can make to the feeling of tightness and pain too but sadly it doesn’t last any longer than about 30-45 minutes so I would need to be putting it on hourly which would not be possible at all as it almost kills me putting it on due to the movement etc and I’m usually a quivering wreck by the time I’ve finished ha ha !!

Right at last I can get up and make that coffee I so badly need. I looked out of the quite newly installed French Doors in the lounge and it looked like a glorious day, the sun was shining and the birds were singing and fighting over the Fat Balls and my eye was drawn to the ever lengthening Green Baize. I’ve been saying to Judith for a little while that she will have to start thinking about cutting the grass soon and she said that she will but best give it a few dry days before having a go. So I thought “I Know, I’ll save her a job and I’ll have a go myself”!!! Now for those of you that don’t know my lawn is about 20ft square and flat and doesn’t take long for Judith to do normally so how hard could it be??? Well after the first line across from left to right I was puffing and panting and reaching for my oxygen. Jeeeez I was in a mess but decided I had to keep going now as it looked really stupid with just one stripe cut and the rest left long and besides the bloody thing was not going to beat me. It felt as though I was having to push a heavy wheel barrow up a massive hill the amount of energy that was needed just to push it along even though it’s flat. All in all it took me about 1 ½ Hours to do it all and even then I left the lawnmower for Judith to clean and put away as that would have just completely finish me off, Sorry Jude Honey!!!

My old mate Lorraine (The Social Worker) came for a natter today too and it was so funny the first words she said to me was ,”God you look well”, I told her she needs to see an optician as her sight is going ha ha after having tried my best to kill myself out the back. I can’t remember the last time I saw Lorraine it must have been about 3 or 4 months ago so we had loads to catch up on. I was busy telling her all about the recent events with the various hospital visits and illnesses and diagnosis’s. Remember me telling you about the new Dermatologist the other day well aint it a small world??, she is the best of friends with Dr Finlay’s Wife who happens to be a doctor too although in Oncology in fact they actually went to Lorraine’s wedding many years ago now. I should have said try and put a word in for me ha ha not like me to waste an opportunity is it?? I had a good old chin wag with Lorraine and managed to find out the answer to a few things that I wanted to speak to her about such as employment stuff which was helpful. You see officially I am still Employed although I have been on the sick since I was diagnosed back in December 2003. It’s on paper only really as they don’t actually pay me a penny as it’s all benefits etc that I get but to be honest I needed to have that glimmer of hope in the distance of the possibility of maybe returning to work one day which that gave me, but, due to the recent discussions with The Merlin and others I have had to come to realisation that I will almost probably not be able to work again and definitely not in the old job anyhow as that was loads of lifting and stuff. So I guess for Closure really I am going to write my letter of resignation later on this evening and sort of put an end to that chapter of my life and then try and get on with looking forward to the next exciting episode whatever that will be!! I will be quite sad really as to be honest I did really enjoy that job and the other staff there were great and we all got on just like one big happy family. Maybe as Judith still works there I will get to go and meet the lads sometime which would be nice.

Okay I better go and get writing then.

See Ya!!