I had a bit of a down day yesterday. I think that it was more a result of being a bit more wheezy than before and feelings that I’m never getting out of here at this rate and is it just me that’s trying to do anything about it?? I know that this just isn’t true as there are lots of things happening behind the scenes which as a patient you never see. Usually Merlin is good at passing on this sort of stuff to me as we have talked in the past about me needing to be kept informed and made to feel that I am at least somewhat involved in my treatment plan etc, and as he has not been around much this week this has added to the feelings I’ve been having. The registrar’s, although good, are not as adept I find as Merlin in being able to do this and really the impression I got yesterday explains it all. Due to one thing or another I was not seen on the normal ward round as usual. I think it was because I was in the middle of having a Reflexology Treatment which was bliss and they actually obeyed the sign on the door about not being disturbed unlike the nurses later on who didn’t. In fairness to them though the assessment woman for the home physio had turned up and said she couldn’t wait around for just 10-15 minutes for me to finish. Have you ever tried to have Reflexology whilst trying to answer all these questions on my physical abilities etc etc. Well let me tell you the reflexology benefits go flying out the window. Well back to the point I was trying to make. As a result of being missed I was eventually seen around tea time by someone who I could only describe as looking as if he belonged in a school probably wearing shorts and not in charge of patient’s lives. Don’t misunderstand me I don’t mean that he was incompetent or anything just that he was very young and didn’t seem to know much about me which all that was needed was maybe a quick look through my notes before coming in to see me. Do these people realise how bloody irritating it is to have to explain your life history to every doctor that comes to see you. It is not too bad on the ward or in day unit as they are fairly regular and see you quite often but if you were to go into A&E Jeeez. You will probably tell your story 10 times an hour. WHY DON’T YOU JUST READ THE BLOODY NOTES YOU LAZY GITS????? I would think far more of a doctor who came in and asked questions on things they have read in my notes etc than one who blatantly hasn’t. Don’t get me wrong I, as many of the nurses and doctors etc will tell, do like to natter and enjoy passing on my story of what’s happened or not to me along the way. I find it quite therapeutic actually so don’t mind at all. I quite often find that I am used as a sort of guinea pig when one of the consultants have students with them and they all have their own way of trying trick student etc too. Gelder likes to just let them stumble along coming up with all sorts of things apart from Leukaemia and never GVHD then steps in to show off his vast knowledge, most of which I have taught him, to impress them. You can read him like a book. I just sit there and laugh to myself thinking that’s just sad and needless really, but hey who am I? Gandalf hasn’t been bringing any student in for a while either. He is more to do with pre transplant patients which now I am post it has passed over to Merlin although he still keeps an interest I’m sure, and always stops to have a chat when we meet. I used to like his approach with the students and to be honest more so his little anecdotes of his life as a student etc they were so funny. He seemed to have a way of getting the students to the right answer but still making them feel like they had done it by themselves. This would be a much better way I would have thought. The other main point was he never seems to be after people to make him feel all powerful and important unlike others!!!
Well after all that babble it ended with me not being able to get through to him that I was not happy with the way my chest is at the moment and that it needs to get a whole lot better, but gave up knowing he would not do anything this time of night anyhow. I will have to wait till later when I think Merlin will be around and have it out with him.
On a positive note though the assessment woman came for the physio as I said. She asked loads of questions etc etc and seemed to be truthful not too promising. Thankfully the physiotherapist that has been treating me was here too to add her say which helped. I really did plead and beg as I could see it was heading towards a big fat NO!! If I didn’t get this I really do think I would be stuck. I would just end up deteriorating more and more and I don’t want that. She fished by saying that she had to discuss it with a colleague of hers before she would make the decision and unfortunately she will have gone home before she gets back into the office and she is then on annual leave until the week after next. Then even if they do agree to go ahead with the help it will be a week after that before they can start. OH NO, I’M NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE!! She did say that she would try and ring the office to see if she could catch her and off she went. After a while she popped her head around the door and said that she managed to speak to her and they have thankfully agreed to take me on. It will be on a strictly trial basis and will start a week next Monday on 20th November, that is if I manage to get out of here by then. They will send someone to the house when I get out to arrange a treatment plan. Right then Merlin, lets be having you. Pull your finger out now I need to get out of here!!!!!
After a virtual cuddle from Judith via a text I managed to drop off into a fairly good, nearly unbroken sleep.
I feel like writing, “and they all lived happily ever after”, after this blog, so I will.
See Ya!!
Isn’t that weird I just finished writing this when Merlin arrived with The Quiet Monk and 3 Students in toe all with desires on my body. I pointed them in the direction of the Psychiatry department.
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