think first

I guess it pays to get your facts right as even I am guilty at times of just flying off the handle at things and situations etc which are usually passed on to me third hand.  This was one of them….

As you all know the problems I’ve had in the dietary department since being in Heath Towers this time and I was, because I was so enraged last night , going to write yet another condemning blog today about the inedible slop they serve up here and this time it was cocked fresh for me and brought straight from the oven to me, no sitting around on the trolley for ages.

I had discussed what was available for the evening meal with the slop stirrer that was on duty in the afternoon and we came up with, Beef Burger, Peas, Mash and Gravy.  The Beef burgers was a good idea as everyone can cook them, can’t they??  And the rest would hopefully be straight forward enough.  

Well as promised she turned up at the arranged time on 4.45pm, which is the time she usually starts her rounds although she starts the other end of the ward and therefore gets to me about 5.30ish.  By which time everything in sight is usually cooked to the Charcoal Stage.

Okay then first thoughts were, well its burger, mash and gravy no peas sorry run out.  Here goes I thought as I dived in and headed straight for the Burger because after all that was the main ingredient that had been cooked especially for me.

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!!

If they thought that this horrible attempt at being a Burger was acceptable then there is a real serious problem.  In its favour though it was warm but that is the only thing that was right.  It was paper thin for a start which is a sure sign that it will probably always be overcooked by this lot.  Then there is the redeeming factor that IT DOESN’T EVEN TASTE LIKE BEEF!!  It was bone dry, tasted of cardboard and wood shavings mixed together with some obscure bean paste so that it can be shaped.  It was absolutely disgusting and I would not have even fed it to my dog, if I had one.  It was so bad I got in one of the nurses to taste it with me and she could not even stomach swallowing it which sadly I did.  I hope I am not infected with some rare cardboard bug now because look out.

I would never have the cheek to serve this up as fit for human consumption not to mention the probable total lack of nutrients that you need from food.

Well then I guess it’s a packet of crisps and some nuts and grapes for a change although it is happening more often than I would like it.  There are probably more calories in a packet of crisps than there would be in a whole days meals served here and that’s not right surely.  Oh yeah I’ve heard the dulcet tines of the nurses walking around the ward offering out Build-Up drinks which although I will sing their praises as they can be very beneficial and have been a god send to me along the way but surely it should not be a failsafe back up for a useless menu and not good food etc.  Quite often when the nurse or slop stirrer comes in to collect my still full plate of cold whatever it is the next words are do you want me to get you a build up?? NOOOOOOO I WANT TO BE FED DESCENT FOOD!!!  Surely it’s not much to ask for??

Okay then having said all that the twist in the tail is that this morning when the slop stirrer came in with my early morning cuppa, she asked how the burgers were as it was her that I had discussed much earlier in the day what the choices were for tea time and she told me that one of her colleagues will be around to find out my choice later.  I went on to tell her all about I being horrible and tasting like cardboard etc etc and she turned around and said,”Oh they must have been Quorn then”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No wonder they didn’t taste of beef. Ha Ha Ha!!

In a way though nothing changes because no matter what they were, they were not edible at all.  I have tasted Quorn lots of times in the past and in fact I can remember cooking some Quorn Burgers myself at a Bar-B-Que some time ago and they actually taste really nice.  They seem to be vastly over priced for what they are but then isn’t everything these days???

This is one reason, as I started out to say, not to fly off the handle unless you know all the facts although I guess in this case my attitude towards it are the same even after knowing the whole story.

I am very beginning to see that the whole catering side of your stay here is going rapidly downhill and I know by the till receipts that my Wife and my Mother and friends etc are showing me the cost of bringing in food to make up for the inadequate muck here is not cheap and in fact I would probably feed 3 for the price they fork out daily.

I will have to try and convince a top TV Chef to take up the Hospital Challenge such as Jamie Oliver did with the schools, but in saying that I think I am right in saying that both Egon Ronay and Gross Lloydman…sorry I mean Lloyd Grossman have both had a go at trying to sort out Health Service Catering with little or no success.

Seriously I think I will try and look into this a bit more deeply when I finally get out of here and maybe find out there is something I can do to try and sort out the problem.  After all I will no doubt be back in again soon so will have to go through it all again anyhow.

Right off for a little snooze.

See Ya!!