I guess attending the coffee morning yesterday has started me thinking about a lot of things and as you all know that can sometime prove to be quite explosive to say the least let alone dangerous to anyone within hearing distance. No, but seriously, there are a lot of emotions involved along the path of life no matter who you are really, but the difference I have found since being diagnosed is that I have been made to face these and deal with them and not do the usual thing and sweep them under the carpet for another day. What do they say? “Out of sight, out of mind”, well it is true although it is not an ideal thing to do. I remember the old “Cub Scout Motto” that Lord Baden Powell introduced all them years ago, (I loved going to the Cubs and Scouts) and it wasn’t
Ging Gang Gooly either it was “BE PREPARED”. I guess his reasons for coming up with this particular saying to muster the troops does not bear the meaning as mine though although they are not that dissimilar.
Let me give you a very good example. A sad fact of life is that inevitably we will all die, that is unless you are some alien life form reading this from another planet. I do apologise to anyone who is shocked by this fact and didn’t know that was the plan for us all but sadly IT IS!! Some of us I suppose, are a bit nearer the Pearly Gates or the Eternal Pit Of Doom than others and I count myself most definitely in this category. I, along with my close family have been faced with the fact that I may well not get through this and this will probably always be a thought that pops up every now and then. I or rather, we have Discussed my Funeral Arrangements everything down to what music to be played and believe me any of you who are lucky enough to win the Golden Ticket to gain admission are in for a real treat. There are certain detail like I want to spend out the rest of my days all be it in dust form, with my first born Daughter Charlotte who sadly passed away at birth many years ago and my beloved dog Benny of many a happy year who sadly passed away last year and if it hadn’t have been discussed then I suppose this just would not have happened. There are also things like, I see my Funeral as a Happy thing in a strange way. What I mean is I want to people to remember the good times and in some way celebrate my life and be happy in knowing that I enjoyed every minute of it myself and gave it my best shot. I’m even contemplating making it strictly Grass Skirts and Loud Shirts and Calypso Music all round as Black is most definitely BANNED!!! I look upon having at least sorted this little thing out that it is one less thing for my family to have to deal with if and when the times comes and maybe get some comfort in knowing they are doing what I would have wanted. I have heard so many times over the years of people saying after burying someone, “I’m not sure if that is what Joe or Gladys would have wanted” and also being torn between Burial or Cremation as some have quite strong views I know on these things.
So I think I can safely say that I did learn something other than Tying Knots at Cubs and that was, “BE PREPARED”.
Okay it’s taken an age to write this blinking Blog today as I’m sure you understand this is quite an emotive subject, even after saying about being happy in knowing that it is sorted. It is quite hard to see the screen when your eyes are filling up with tears. A bit like driving in the rain with no windscreen wipers and I don’t suggest you go out and do that, but it is I guess the Bottom Line and it needs to be faced and I hope that maybe someone some day might read this and gain some inspiration to do the same as its not morbid at all.
Isn’t it strange how most people don’t like to talk about death and dying etc but we will all be dead a lot longer than we are alive Ha Ha Ha!!
BEFORE YOU ALL GO WRITING IN AND PHONING, WORRYING ABOUT MY MENTAL STATE, PLEASE DON’T FRET I AM PERFECTLY FINE, HONESTLY, WELL AS FINE AS YOU ALL KNOW I CAN BE !!
See Ya!!
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4 comments:
Brilliant post John!
Thank You Peter.
I didn't realise just how emotional it would be to write but i think it had to be done and hopefully myself and others might gain some benefit and support by it in some small way.
O&U
See Ya!!
Contemplating ones own demise isn't easy.. I just get b****y annoyed at the thought that what might have been a reasonably lengthy life is likely to be curtailed! The thought doesn't frighten me, I've just got so much to do! O&U!!
(Annoyed? Angry probably, Incandescent sometimes!)
Sounds a healthy attitude to me bro. I would be happy to wear a grass skirt or do anything else stupid for you.
See you soon hopefully.
Lots of love and hugs
Little Sis.
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