Just A Few Thoughts!!

I’ve been thinking about a few things the last few days not for any particular reason apart from I guess that they have been brought up in the press again.

One of these is euthanasia. I know there are mixed emotions on this subject and to be honest I think there really is no definitive answer. I actually find it quite strange that throughout all my sufferings etc over the last couple of years I never gave it a second thought. There must have been, well I know there were, LOTS OF TIMES when I really did want to give up the fight and if I’m honest at the “Low Times” now these feelings do come and go although I have learnt to somewhat ignore them. What if it were an option put in front of me then?? By whom I don’t know? But feasibly it could have been. In one of my earlier dice’s with death, the drug regime was trying it’s best to zombify me I guess I might have just taken them up on their offer and appearing as if I was, “With It” so to speak it would have gone ahead and you wouldn’t be reading this now. GOD THAT IS SOOOOOOO SCARY!!!! You know you hear from people at times that to give up is often “The Easy Way Out”. I think this is not that accurate myself. Yes maybe physically it could be but I know when these feelings have been pretending to be in washing machine inside my head going round and round AND ROUND!!! The feelings of letting everyone else down and things like leaving my Darling Wife & Daughter to have to cope with the loss let alone all my family and friends, makes me actually quite guilty of even considering it. Does that sound strange to you?? It’s a weird sort of feeling almost like a “How Dare You Even Think Such A Thing”?

This is obviously just my opinion on the subject and to be honest I’m not convinced either way whether it should be available. There are probably some of you out there who may think very strongly either way too and that’s your choice too. I just think that maybe my case just goes to prove that there would need to be very secure safeguards and procedures in place to make absolutely sure that it is in fact the patient’s decision to end their life as sadly you don’t get a second shot at it. As I said in my case the drugs I was taking would certainly have played a factor in my decision.

Phew!!!! That was some heavy stuff today. On a lighter note MY BLOODY SKIN IS STILL KILLING ME!!!!!!!

See Ya!!